this blog

it seems that people all over the globe is somehow finding their ways to come to my blog. from random uk degree site, teeth whitening site, et cetera - i am fine with strangers coming and going. i do not care. i just want people to know that i make music (found on the link below) and this blog is where i write down my ideas and shit -


www.facebook.com/pages/Marlson-Bruegen/148440108519527

I can't think of me without thinking of you. Vulnerable
feet; I need excuses you can't object. Frankly, I'm afraid
of the impact of your objection.
I want to.
I'll take my chance.
It'd be alright if I lose you as a friend,
when that occurs, you won't see me again.
I'll pretend that we were just some lovers.

Do you think that 'Love' is just a four lettered word
or do you take it more seriously?
Do you need to confirm yourself in front of a mirror every morn
to see if you've discovered what you didn't from the day
before? Oh, I'll just keep my mouth
tight before you walk out the door. If you do,
I won't see you again and
I'll pretend that we were just some lovers.

I've seen this in cowboy movies.
I want to live those moments,
not to sing dreadful songs about the summer,
and I want it with you.

11279026

How often men should say "I love you"

A man should say "I love you" only three times in his life time. When he is in a trouble, when he is badly ill (assuming it would lead to a probable death), and when he is (definitely) dying.

I dunno how it works with other people saying that phrase to another human being. I have never told that to another human being, not even to my mother, the woman who gave birth to me. I could see me using that phrase in about ten or fifteen years from now, when my old man or my mother or my sister is hospitalized. I would say that for their comfort (although it is debatable, seeing as I would not know how I will be feeling about my family members in the future, but I would lie in those situations).

I have been with females that I have said "you're alright" to. Translating: "I think I can stand to be around you more than I thought, I should get your number." Then, I would say "I am attracted to you," when I mean: "I can't think of me without thinking of you." Call me ol' skool, I would never say those three words to a female or anybody else (unless I was in a trouble, or ill, or dying).

It was hot that evening. The boy with the glasses had rode his bicycle for an hour to meet a girl. His tee shirt was wet, his jeans soaked up the leg-sweat. His face was glistening and was flashy. He arrived at the destination before the time that was arranged to meet. He waited patiently. A girl showed up a few minutes after his arrival. She was in her red shoes.

"Hi." A girl in red shoes said to the boy with the glasses. She smiled and hugged him.
"Hi." The boy with the glasses responded the girl in red shoes.

That was the beginning of something new for both of them. They did not planned anything else than to meet for a cup of tea. The rest happened inexplicably and swimmingly that they felt like they had known one another for some time than they actually spent together.

Hello.
Hi.
How are you?
Fine, and yourself?
Good. Why don't we go for a walk?
Sure, I'd like that.
I knew you would.

The sun was cutting flat. He realized that she was not properly dressed for the autumn night and took his jacket off and supine it around her torso. She looks up into his eyes and saw the tenderness in it.

A poem to creativity

I have been going through
application of appointments
to keep on looking
forward to have a meet with
you.

The sun
has been in my eyes for quite
some time but I don't mind knowing you'll be layering.
Clever rhymes and lines haven't been around,
and the pound of tantrum
detergent me from
what I want to say: apologetic
empty stares we share.

My beings are taken, mistaken, stolen
from me. I can't remember
what is what used to be.
I thought I saw your naked form: your curves, heat, emotions -
Couldn't have got it right though, seems
that I've forgotten my
thinking cap.

Don't worry honey, I'll return shortly.
Don't take it so personal that
the time has gotten to you; wished winter was here.
I know we'll meet again someday. Until then,
with the memory of your soft touch that you've shown me
I'll look for you by the death balloon.

I believe:
That I am me, You are you, and You can never be me.
There is no such thing as karma, it is another phony subject established by Hallmark.
Eating together is always better than eating alone (even with an archenemy or a stranger).
Take care of Sterling.
Thankful for having a family.
Have red bricks when riding my bike.
Cigarettes after meals.
Soft core porn.
A man should be ready to leave at any second.
Wash hands after using them.
Never hang out consecutively with the same person(s).
Say 'Thank you' and mean it.
Jesus Christ is not a fictional character.
Never hold back at anything/anybody. They will not be remembered after a week.
Never fear anyone more than myself.
Never show fear to anyone at any circumstances.
Never do anything with intention of hurting anyone.
Have just enough.
Get to the bottom of things.
Be consistent.
Look up words I do not know.
If a person changes his/her hair, tell him/her it looks good.
Remember.
Forgive.

Riding Around the Thundercircle

I have been feeling
frivolous and foolish.
Subjective confounded by your
somatic,
you have been around my mind
more than I can count.
Bear lips
without lipstick,
devil's pink pedicure,
rare silhouette more than
romantic.
A mere thought of you makes
the white part of my eyeball
illuminate.
I know you can not be found
by looking, can not help
but to keep the hope running.
Rapid thunder carousel,
fire waltz,
faster pace at all than
favourite worst nightmare.
Promise to meet me there after sunset and sunrise,
I will be there waiting.
Voluptuous and dangerous
have very different tune
and you are in both, very temptatious.
I know I should not have
came too strong to drive you away.
Do not be turned off too quickly,
I will turn the blindfolds if the sun is in your eyes, girl.
I do not like to repeat, but at you
I would repeat 'I want you' over and again
from sun down until the moon is
through.




112700724,5,9

My new cold-cat-cavern, it is freezing during the night and cool during the day. That is one of the roommate's dog: Bruno. He's size is half of my bike and peeks thru my door from time to time. I need a few shits to settle in, and something to chew on.

A lot is occurring, forcing me to change accordingly. I accept the change but I am not sure if it will accept me

ive been dreaming recently

you invaded my dreams smoothly
without my consent.
you are getting good at
it.
played a game you suggested: you chased me and i ran
around.
when you caught and pinned me down, you whispered
in my ear that you wanted to
i was interrupted by the sound and left you there
tried, but just could not go back to get you in time. in a
different situation, there you were;
it is wrong to think and obsess over you-
wanting what a body can not possess
i am not that lucky.
said you like pink and pull black pretty
swell. took my soul and left
my heart to sink.
i know everyone goes
any damn place they please;
even tho it is a short visit,
i never want it to end.
because i know i cannot see you
when i wake up.
wanting to be with
you,
i dream

I have been hearing it all over &
saw the change that is
occuring.
Friends &
strangers are all gone. I feel it,
their departure is shifting me away -
perhaps driving me to me. They
no longer contact me. I
no longer contact anyone;
living in an empty
world & an empty
house.
Pseudo smiles & laughs
what is the point - ?!
I wanted to call you & tell you
to listen to me whine while you comfort me.
I could not, I did not call you up
do not ask me ask me 'why?'
in my imagination, I knew you would not be able to provide me what I request. Tried to search for an answer in the bottle & it was not too much to handle, no. Eyes getting heavier: sounds registered in my brain; night wind invites sooth me well & my weary mind.
Perhaps it is the colour of the sun cutting flat or the weather or something like that. Honey, you are on my mind.
I am afraid of what I have done to you. I wish I could rewind. I wish I can dream the last time we were together. I wish for another chance with you, I would do it right if I do. I can not detergent myself from me, of what I am becoming. I try my best & come to work early to be on time, but I know I am changing. Changing from who I used to be. I want to phone you so bad, just to hear your voice. I do not know what would happen if I do, like the last time, you may tell me that you are busy to attend a party
out of town. You
frighten me
terrify me.
I want to
but I should not
I would not.
I phone her instead. She has a great laugh, she is same age as you & she likes me. She shouts & sings my name & makes me laugh. She recited lines from Bobby Dee - & I just want to make love right then & there.
I see it as a blessing: the change. Everything is what I allow to be. I am learning to walk in order to run. Being on my own is hard. They do not understand, but she understands, she calms me down. Nobody understands except my brother in D.C. & me. Nevertheless, I can not squander my effort & time in/to/with assholes here: different perspectives involves different universe & creation & innovation.
I am bound to leave this town without a sound.

11275015

Take a walk
outside on troubled roads
thru the brick walls.
Do not look
at them in the eyes,
but walk on.
Pass thru their whispers & invites.
It's alright,
it won't happen like this
again.
Just have to know your
ways to go &
find some
one who
cares.
The sky's not the limit if you
look up
& wonder.
Be yourself,
those who mind don't
matter & those who
matter don't
mind.
Am I wrong wrong wrong ?
Tell me: "No, you're not."
Ease my mind and perhaps I'll
sing you a song.
I know you'd
love that.
Please tell me tell me you want me.
I just missed the last train
and don't want to miss you too.
Darling I am not good at complimenting
as well as apologizing.
Keep me & I will keep you thru.
I want to see you
I want to hold you
I want to hear you
I want to love you
tonight.

They are trying
to make me an
insider. A body
that I
can never be.
Thru & out
by the rules
of the tongue
& where
the eyes meet,
I
am closer.
Closer becomes
further, further
becomes closer:
something they will never see.
What is right is
no longer
valid,
what is left is left
to be
burned.
Rush it
push it
or get bit- it is your jurisdiction to be fit.
Get something to
chew/eat & sit,
"Where can I go to get some sleep?"
I gotta find
a spot
to keep-
"By the end of this,
I'll get you
to admit that you tried to fit. &
want me to come to meet."
But the last time
I took a peek, I
did not see what
you should have shown
me.
I know what I am about,
do not come up & test me.
They come & go & some
return,
& some are
long lost;
& some are
never here nor there
& some are
irksome to
bum;
& some are just a mistake from the start;
& some are worth the time to try;
& some are able to be forgotten
while some are never to be lost.
I know you know that I know
what I am about & what
you are capable of. I would never
have her if you want her.
I got other things to do than her, I
promise that I would not trick
so be a sport & leave while you
can & see it &
hear it & breath it & eat it
& sleep on it & walk it & fuck it & shit & put it in and spit & shove it or
suck it: -
as long as you do
not try to make me fit.

11275008

Nobody told me
it would be like this.
I can hear the cats
in the alley way hiss, trying
to prove a point.
I have tried my best & have missed.
I don't want to go
that way with you.
Why are you so hard ?

I feel
like crying,
but my eyes are dry, like a
desert.
Let down your guard,
you can do that with me.
Tomorrow is never promised darling,
come away with me.
We can watch the sun rise.
Why are you so hard?
I just want to be with you.

11274021

i dont know what to call this anymore

i watched the sun sleep
thru the apparition of the shadows pass
yesterday and sink
into tomorrow.
i know the greatest
fear is to be alone.

i watched the night turn into
dawn. people come
and go on. they are
all gone. turn me in
and out from
my own doubt.

i watched how long the sky reach.
it went more than i could peek.
always hungry to seek
for something to fulfill
me. even the birds
are chained to the
skyway.

i watched pretty people
on the streets. they have all
got their issues to face.
one of these days,
i am going to be gone
without a trace.

i heard the sound of spring
around the cornerstone.
her sweet temptation
brought tears of tantrum.
true love no longer
exists.

i heard your thorned words
stab through my heart.
it brought me no pain
but kept me sane.
rekindled again to
myself: you are born and
die here alone
, it is up to you
to decide before the chance
is gone.

i heard the thunder crying
lightly. no body felt different any.
honey, why are you so hard -?
i told you up straight. dont make me
wait. i would wait for you, if you
would wait for me too. i
want to wake up
next to you.

i heard the ghosts of unattractive
murmur, they pulled me closer.
in the dark alley way
there is nobody except me here,
wanting to get out, i keep on.
life is a bust, you do
what you
must.


1127402
1128409
11714011
11994112
11994126

In Transit

Complications are always

complicated, tangled

up

with hatred.

Desire and pleasure

go hand in hand. Play it cool,

don't try to understand.

He was from the south

; she was from the north.

Too smart for his own but has a big heart and like

a train, went too fast.
She couldn't lie but knew her way

around. She wanted to take it slow.
They were
perfect for each other.

They sat together in a train
and looked out the window.
In transit
: places, people, time and more.
It was too obvious and perilous:

you might say that was

dangerous.
Incredulous she was.

Untoward and fugacious
;got off with her

suitcase, took her

baby but left her heart there.

1117482

no true romance

hunger stroke. antisinister under lighter
pulling your hair further. she is tired
she announced, pushed against your chest and
got up to leave.

she is late for her shift
could not stop her from leaving
buried in under the words you
wanted to say. left wanting,
right needing. the ride has reached the
destination. without further
consideration towards
termination.

pseudo smiles symbolic
plastic tramp
turns into a frown
guilt or sulk something should
i feel ? its a mystery
if she knew or just letting be
vacant that love is
no longer in bloom
as she exited out the room.

1176294

Word of day

word of day: fuck. it never gets fucking old to hear fuck.